I wake up with fear in the mind
Will this be the day I have to read to the class?
the day I stutter and fall?
will this be the day that my mask crumbles?
the one I spent so long building up?
memories of before run ramped in my head
my confidence is shaken
never to be restored,
I don't fear reading-
I fear judgement.
judgement of what they think.
desperate to be excepted,
afraid to be an outcast,
I've spent so long trying to hide my secret,
I've tried so hard to erase my tracks,
but were ever go it follows me like a shadow.
but not always seen.
Not until I read though
like the sun, it shows were it hides
9 long treacherous years I've learned.
I know the rules like the back of my hand.
then I read once,
and my achilles heal is revealed
people treat me with different waves of emotions after that:
sympathy, cause they feel sorry for what I have to bear
disgust, like they are going to catch it and become "stupid" too
disapproval, shaking of many heads as I walk by.
I didn't ask for this,
I don't see how its fair
I work twice as hard, and I'm the "stupid" one
I don't see how.
why am I to blame.
you won't become sick from me
I promise, you won't
don't be afraid.
I'm not disabled because of it either
I just think another way
outside the box you could say
you took the highway in education,
I took the senic route
we still got to the same place,
and in the same amount of time.
I just happened to pick up a few things along the way
Some tricks of the trade.
But,I really don't understand
what so wrong about being,